Sunday 17 June 2007

Out with the old......

I have to admit to being a bit of a hoarder. Every now and again I try to have a clear out but I just hate throwing things away.

Now that we are now environmentally aware I always think that I can use pot again or I can give that to someone who maybe able to use it. The bad thing about it is often I just put the thing somewhere out of the way with the intention of giving it to that someone or of using it again. And when I come to have that clean the next time I come across it again!

We'll be leaving Ghana very soon and so again I am having to sort out 10 years of stuff. It's taking me ages as everything I have has a memory or occasion attached to it even Christmas cards which friends have taken time out to choose and send to me, so it is taking me a long time.

I think we like the familiar and as such we are reluctant to get rid of that which we know and are attached to. What a wrench it must have been to Abraham who was told to leave everthing which he was used to and familiar with and move to the unfamiliar and the unknown. He could have chosen to play safe and stay where he was or to make room for new blessings, new experiences. Throwing out the old makes way for the new. Holding on to the old inevitably leaves less space for the new.

So I will take that old suitcase, those clothes that I haven't worn for years and give them away or throw them out.....I will.

Monday 11 June 2007

Be Encouraged.

A little encouragement goes a long way, I'm of the opinion that we don't encourage people enough and I think this is borne out of the fact that we don't recieve it enough so we don't give it and so it goes on.



Barnabas whose name means 'Son of Encouragment' personified his name. The book of Acts tells us how Paul came to Jerusalem and was not trusted. No wonder as prior to becoming a follower of Jesus he would capture and throw Christians into prison. Of course then there was air of suspician. Was he 'fakin it' or was this all a ploy to imprison more disciples.



Barnabas steps up to the plate. He presents Paul to the apostles and staked his own reputation on the truth of his conversion. Although not witnessing it himself he told the apostles that he (Paul) had seen Jesus on the way to Damascus, that the Lord had spoken to Saul and of how he had preached boldly in Damascus. At some point Barnabas must have taken the time out to speak to Paul, listen to this testimony and find out what he was doing as a result of that testimony.



Imagine how Paul must have felt having this veteran standing up and speaking on his behalf. Imagine if Barnabas had not spoken. The apostles may have refused to hear him, much of the New Testament might not have been written.



Let us take time to encourage, you don't know the impact you will make.



Remember .....pray one for another

Saturday 9 June 2007

Save a Marriage

Someone forwarded this to me last week, and it brought a tear to my eye.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.
I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, "all my dresses have grown bigger". I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was
just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step.
Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah..blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other thatbuild intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!



Remember.......Pray one for another

Saturday 2 June 2007

Party Time!

Yesterday I threw a surprise party for my husband. He was totally unaware of anything. We had some friends visiting from the UK who were leaving that day and though we would have really liked them to have been there, they were the perfect reason for getting him out of the house. I asked them to insist on being at the airport early. When he left for the airport things began to move. With the help of family and friends we put up lights, set out tables and chairs, put the food out, and most importantly friends came to help us celebrate. He was to use a English expression 'gobsmacked'.

I'm not sure what I feel about growing older, younger people see 40 something as ancient, while older people feel that 40 something is still young. There are days when I am at peace with my age, when I bask in the freedom to do exaclty what I want as the years have given me that right. Then there are days when I feel that if I knew when I was younger what I know now I would have made some different choices.

Often I have to remind myself that the gift of life, health and strength is what I should focus on. Using those three gifts to make the most of the opportunites and time I have right now as I don't know what tomorrow will bring.

I was inspired by the a Ghanaian woman - Georgina Woode - who at the age of 60 has been nominated by the Ghanaian president, John Kufuor for the office of Chief Justice, the highest juidicial position in the land. Reading through her interests I was struck by the fact that she was the leader of her church choir - Assemblies of God. God has a way of using you what ever age you are as long as we make ourselves available for use.


Remember ...... pray one for another.